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About this Product
Repeat after me:
" I (state your name), from this day forward,
take this bidet to be my faithfully trusted piece of gear,
to own and to hold, through thick and thin poops,
to be used daily in the woods away from a trail, and at least 150' away from water,
until death or chronic constipation do us apart."
The picture of the Holey Hiker Bidet might show you what it looks like, but it does not come close to bringing you the same emotional joy that you will feel after using it the first time. Order one now. It will arrive at your home in a week or two. Take it out of the box. Pop it into your favorite water bottle. Drop your pants. Squirt.
You know what you are feeling?
Freedom.
Freedom from toilet paper.
Freedom from chaffing and monkey butt.
Freedom from that smell that starts coming up after about three days on the trail.
Freedom from the guilt you have been feeling for years. You know that smearing poop against your skin with toilet paper until it disappeared just did not seem to make any sense. You are now living guilt free. You are living clean.
In the words of one of our favorite customers:
"I bought 2 bidets from you back in April. My wife and I spent the summer and fall hiking on the PCT and "the original squirt" was a superstar. It blew our minds. Our rear ends have never been so clean. We will never carry toilet paper again except in the most dire of desert conditions." --Jacob
"Wash your butt. It’s only weird the first time or two and then you’re like, 'Why didn’t I start doing this years ago' Seriously. Wash your butt already." Phillip P
There are three videos you should watch:
- CLICK HERE to see a ridiculously long video that I made explaining how to use the Holey Hiker Bidet.
- CLICK HERE to see a video about how to put the bidet in and out of a bottle
- And you can CLICK RIGHT HERE to see a video about the new bidet.
International customers please click here for ordering instructions!
Click here to see where the Holey Hiker Bidets are being used!
Are you gifting? CLICK HERE for a little something to put in the package
If you have any questions, please email Paul at paulthebackpacker@gmail.com
If you would like to pay with Crypto please click here
Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets
Bethany, CT
Meet the Maker
Hello and welcome to Holey Hiker Bidets! I'm Paul Bogush the designer, creator, lead tester, and CEO (Chief Elimination Officer) of Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets. After using a few other bidets I realized that not one had all the features I was looking for. None had the right combination of durability, ease of use, low water usage, and the perfect stream. I decided to start designing and testing my own in December 2020. Each time I went out I made a small change and then came home and fired up the 3D printer to make the improvements based on my experience and the experiences and feedback from testers all around the country. After one last outing on the Appalachian Trail in June of 2020, I had what I thought was the perfect backpacking bidet...but testers started to report that it would crack after about a year's worth of use. After another year of prototyping and experimenting with different plastics the final prototype was finally made in July of 2021 and sales to our waiting list and anyone who happen to stumble upon the website began. Our "grand opening" finally occurred on November 19, 2021.
In June of 2023 we closed the shop and I set out to improve the design and make it stronger, lighter, and improve the spray. I decided to use a injection molding process which meant getting a crash course in how to take my 3D printed design and convert it to a design that could be injection molded. For those of you that design and make, it was going from Tinkercad to SolidWorks :) Finally in January the current version was finally approved, mold created, and the first 25 prototypes were made and tested. The current version of the bidet started being sold in March of 2024 and are made at a family run business right here in Connecticut. It is a one man show so please be patient with shipping and correspondence.
We are the only seller of the Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidet. All other sites selling four-hole bidets are selling imitations! Feel free to point them out and I'll gladly tell you why their imitation design is inferior.
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How it’s Made
After four years of prototyping and manufacturing bidets in a corner of my house, I am now working with a local family-owned business to make the plastic part of the bidets with final assembly at my house. The plastic for the bidets is manufactured in Texas. The O-rings are FDA grade seals. There are no O-rings manufactured in the USA! They’re from the Philippines :) If you purchased a bidet within the last four years, there will be some slight changes you might notice.
- It now weighs only 4 grams
- The spray pattern is slightly different. I think you'll notice that you get clean faster.
- The arrow on top is more prominent. Please note that the bidet does not come with a painted arrow. A Sharpie will last multiple trips, but your favorite nail polish will last a long, long time.
The bidets are designed with Smartwater bottles in mind but work with pretty much any plastic "water bottle" except for the very cheap store brand or dollar store bottles.
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Shop Policies
If your bidet malfunctions or gets destroyed by a bear within 900 days of buying it, we will send out a new bidet to you. If it breaks after 900 days and you have a really good story about how it got destroyed, please share it with us. If it's interesting enough, I'll share it at the dinner table with the family and have them vote on whether a free replacement should be sent out.
We package the bidets the weekend after receiving the order and get them in the mail the following Monday...usually. Like 98% of the time.
You will be sent a confirmation email with the shipping # after it is packed.
Please keep in mind that you will receive no cutesy note or extra packing material to cut down on waste. You will get just a bidet in a little box wrapped in a single piece of paper :)
If you do not receive a bidet within 3 weeks of ordering, please contact us and we will ship out a new one.
