About this Product
THEY ARE BACK FOR A SHORT TIME! The Holey Hiker "Bad Brad" Whistle* is just naughty. An emergency whistle is not supposed to be just 5 grams. They are not supposed to be only 2 inches long. They are not meant to hit 119 decibels.
Ok...maybe they are.
But are they suppose to only be $1? Whistles like this would normally go for $100s!
Buy any bidet and get the "Bad Brad" whistle for only $1. One Whistle per bidet purchased :) If you don't buy a bidet, I am not even quoting you a price, Brad says just yell really loud.
Is there really a Brad this whistle was named after? Of course there is. Will he ever get another one of my whistles? Of course he most certainly will not. Brad decided to test a Holey Hiker Bidet and a whistle at the same time...literally at the same time. That's just not right. His hiking companions grew weary after a week backpacking with him. Pooping in the woods with a Holey Hiker Bidet is something deeply personal. It is a transcendental experience. The silence should only be broken by the sounds that accompany a good ol' backwoods poop, not a blaring whistle.
The Bad Brad Whistle is a limited number item. If you are reading this buy one before they are gone. The current batch is a light green color.
This is not a whistle that you should buy as you prep for an apocalypse. It is sturdy but cannot take being slammed in a car door, a 75' fall off a cliff, or survive a direct blow from a zombie. It is more like a whistle you would keep in your toiletry kit.
Now let's hear what Brad had to say after I sent him his first whistle...
"That whistle is awesome! I blew it in the house. You were right, I should not have done that and I only did it once. Can I get a couple more? Woohoo, lighten up my whistle!" Brad
Remember folks, descriptions may include some exaggeration, but the quotes are all real! And I would like seriously add, please do not blow whistle indoors without plugging your ears. You should not subject your ears to 119 db in a closed spaced.
If you have any questions please email Paul at paulthebackpacker@gmail.com
If you would like to pay with Crypto please click here
*Please note that the Bad Brad Whistles are made with left over resin so that I have as little waste as possible. If I am low on yellow and can't do any more bidets I might add some left over blue to the mix and you get what you get. There is no predicting what color will be available, what color you will get, or when they will be available.
Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets
Meet the Maker
Hello and welcome to Holey Hiker Bidets! I'm Paul Bogush the designer, creator, lead tester, and CEO (Chief Elimination Officer) of Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidets. After using a few other bidets I realized that not one had all the features I was looking for. None had the right combination of durability, ease of use, low water usage, and the perfect stream. I decided to start designing and testing my own in December 2020. Each time I went out I made a small change and then came home and fired up the 3D printer to make the improvements based on my experience and the experiences and feedback from testers all around the country. After one last outing on the Appalachian Trail in June of 2020, I had what I thought was the perfect backpacking bidet...but a tester had it eventually crack after long term testing. After another year of prototyping and experimenting with different plastics the final prototype was finally made in July of 2021 and sales to our waiting list and anyone who happen to stumble upon the website began. Our "grand opening" finally occurred on November 19, 2021.
In June of 2023 we closed the shop and I set out to improve the design and make it stronger, lighter, and improve the spray. I decided to use a injection molding process which meant getting a crash course in how to take my 3D printed design and convert it to a design that could be injection molded. For those of you that design and make, it was going from Tinkercad to SolidWorks :) Finally in January the current version was finally approved, mold created, and the first 25 prototypes were made and tested. The current version of the bidet started being sold in March of 2023 and are made at a family run business right here in Connecticut. Even the plastic comes from the USA. The O-ring is from the Vietnam. There are no O-ring manufacturers in the USA! The bidets come back to me, and I install the O-ring and pack them in a little corner of my house. It is a one man show so please be patient with shipping and correspondence.
We are the only seller of the Holey Hiker Backpacking Bidet. All other sites selling four-hole bidets are selling imitations! Feel free to point them out and I'll gladly tell you why their imitation design is inferior.
And finally, if you are still not convinced that a bidet is life changing, then listen to Evan!
"Just get one and thank me later. Honestly, I am amazed I have not heard more about bidets for backpacking. I used Paul's bidet for just over 3 weeks while on the Colorado trail and I have to tell you my butt has never been happier. In the past I have had monkey butt issues but using this little bidet and a little bit of washing with some Dr Bronner's, I did not have any butt chaffing issues at all. It's small light and has officially replaced wet wipes in my pack. I also cut my toilet paper usage to about 2 squares per day using this bidet. Paul has been working to perfect his product and I think he nailed it. This bidet is going to be in my pack forever, provided I don't lose it. (Seriously it's small). Once you hop on the bidet train there is no going back and you're going to say to yourself, 'I should have bought one of these sooner.' Trust me."
Evan
Shop Policies
If your bidet malfunctions or gets destroyed by a bear within 900 days of buying it, we will send out a new bidet to you. If it breaks after 900 days and you have a really good story about how it got destroyed, please share it with us. If it's interesting enough, I'll share it at the dinner table with the family and have them vote on whether a free replacement should be sent out.
We package the bidets the weekend after receiving the order and get them in the mail the following Monday...usually. Like 98% of the time.
You will be sent a confirmation email with the shipping # after it is packed.
Please keep in mind that you will receive no cutesy note or extra packing material to cut down on waste. You will get just a bidet in a little box wrapped in a single piece of paper :)
PLEASE be patient with shipping. We can ship a bidet to California in 3 days one week, and then ship one the following week that will take 14 days. Around holiday times all bets are off :) Sometimes when the USPS takes our packages and scan them in immediately and other times the first scan is at your regional PO. If you do not receive a bidet within 3 weeks of ordering, please contact us and we will ship out a new one. Ignore the shipping time that is stated in the automated email with your shipping #. That is just a very loose USPS goal. The current average is 3-7 days but there are so many exceptions.